What happened this week?

As another week winds down, I wonder, where do we go from here?

Every week starts with so much that is on the horizon. Work, lunch hour, subway ride to and from your office, familiar and new faces, challenges - most of these are second nature to us, while the rest throws us off-guard. Sometimes it takes a toll and you feel tired - almost craving that the weekend comes faster. Weekend comes; you rest, meet up with your good friends, watch movies, explore, have food, go home, wind down and prepare for the week that is coming up.

During the week though, so many things happen. We can dissect any given hour in a day. The emails, the meetings that got scheduled at the last minute, the impromptu dinner outing with a friend, some bad lunch/dinner choices, the many feelings we feel throughout the day - anxiety, excitement, happiness, sadness, indifference, anger, and some that we don’t even know how to categorize.

We look into the past, we come back to the very present moment and yearn a little as to how future will look like. We wind down each night, having gone through quite a lot - if you really think about it, each day. Yet we discredit ourselves, saying we did not do enough.

However, there are moments spread through any given day, week, where all our worries dissolve, even if for few minutes, hours, maybe a day. Chatting with your friends, family, finding that funny meme, listening to that song, that perfect meal, workout, meeting, the unexpected walk down memory lane of better, happier moments in life. We often do not take a second to realize it is happening.  That that very moment is special and that you will remember it for a long period. However, that's ok. Not everything has to be dissected and analyzed.

Not everything has to make sense. Not everything has to do with you. The world does not really think so much about you as you think they do. Which is fine, it is actually liberating to know that the pressure we put on ourselves is not extreme. It's hard out there for sure - but enough dedication, a true heart, a smile should get you through the tough things.

I do not know where we go from here. But I do know that although so much went down last week and just the past 25 years, there have been numerous moments of just about everything. It would not be a life if things were not all over the place - regardless of how composed we try to act and what our social media may suggest. I am hoping for a low-key weekend, to recharge, to rest up. In addition, the hope will be to see what is out there next week. As I did last week, and the week before that and in general. Through it all - the good, the bad, the ugly. 

Who is important to you? | Buffer Film Festival 2017 Review

It was a hectic day. Barrages of emails, meetings, and had to deliver a product for review the next morning. And even with a packed work schedule, I went to Toronto's Startup Open House and met couple of start-ups and entrepreneurs. Then went to work, had an advil and off I went for Buffer Film Festival at the Elgin Theatre.

I wasn't really sure what I was expecting when it came to actually going there. I know I wanted to be with my friends, but it was a bit of a mystery as to what I would be watching.

Basically about 12 Youtubers - primarily into travel and adventure - showcased short films that they produced. It was vastly varied - from about 2 minutes of pure cinematic, breathtaking visuals, to 15 mins of dry, uninspired, apparent attempt of a mini-feature film. Weirdly enough, these two started and ended the festival respectively.

I really enjoyed a handful of them. And I guess I wanted to look back into what those films meant to me because at the end of the day, any such visual art, or art pieces in general, are subject to varied interpretations. The artist themselves have a vision but often times, you interpret it in your own way. And that's fine, I would hope. You can't possibly have the same vision as all, then things wouldn't be enticing or captivating.

So the first one that felt important to me is about how family and your friends change your perception, shape who you are in a world with so many personalities. This rather seems like a simple thing to grasp but how often do we take a step back and see who are the people that are driving our particular vision? I used to be fairly negative about where things are headed, but some took the chance to make me think otherwise. And sure, some of it was within me, this fire to prove something to myself, but I would imagine a lot of my immediate world is shaped by these familiar faces, personalities. When they are excited to hang out with you. When they are willing to come pick you up. When they would ask if you are free. And when you meet, there isn't a sky-high expectation as to how things will go, you are rather content as to whatever it is, in that simple moment. It might be a random conversation, it might be a meal somewhere, it might be rants while crossing roads - they aren't anymore, the larger than life moments. They are the simple moments, that linger with you, for days, months, years to come.

I really enjoyed facetime friends. Why? I guess personally I can connect. You often times communicate with people and have some expectations of what it would mean and be like when you meet face to face. Then you meet them, and the conversations run dry. You are surprised - how could it be like this? You search for answers in their face, their way of interactions, but nothing quite prepared you for this. How is it that in-person meeting can be so tremendously different? The protagonist meets a friend that he has kept in touch for 3 years, without ever meeting in-person, and yet while most would have at least expected things to be amicable, it quickly turned sour. The surprise, the shock, the lack of emotional sentiment reverberated between the two, to the point that, once the protagonist went back to Toronto, their friendship gradually came to an end. Sometimes you have more vested interest in another being, than the other being in you. And you might want to reconcile why that is the case but sometimes, it's just not something you can explore much into.

Overall, there was a great sentiment across the films. It touched on the scope of individuality, what is important to oneself - home, family, friends, a greater sense of purpose, love, connection, siblings, and truly the closed ones. It wasn't surprising that although the content vastly varied, what tied them all together was the fact that we are shaped by our surroundings, more specifically the humans around us. They consciously/sub-consciously alters where we are headed to next, or even in the present circumstances. And as simple as it may appear, honestly, why should it be any more complicated?

A tale of two cities

 “Human nature will not flourish, any more than a potato, if it be planted and replanted, for too long a series of generations, in the same worn-out soil. My children have had other birthplaces, and, so far as their fortunes may be within my control, shall strike their roots into unaccustomed earth.”

- Nathanial Hawthorne 

“I know that my achievement is quite ordinary. I am not the only man to seek his fortune far from home, and certainly I am not the first. Still, there are times I am bewildered by each mile I have traveled, each meal I have eaten, each person I have known, each room in which I have slept. As ordinary as it all appears, there are times when it is beyond my imagination." (From "The Third and Final Continent")

― Jhumpa Lahiri, Interpreter of Maladies

What does it mean when they say - where is home? Growing up in the heart of Dhaka city could be a potential winner. Or is it the past six years, in a faraway city of Toronto - a time when my world was turned upside down and yet somehow I eventually found a little bit of footing? Or maybe I don't have a home. Maybe wherever I am, that's home. Maybe it's the subway I am in right at this moment - is my temporary home. And all these passengers are my housemates. We all live our lives beyond this subway ride - but in the minutes that we share together - however short or long - it's so very belonging to us. Sheltered from the world outside. On our way to home.

When the prospects started to grow that I would have the incredible opportunity to go abroad and study - naivety took over. Growing up - I thought my darker skin color kept me at bay from people. My overweight self-thought - I am the anomaly. Or when I was giggling after hearing about my brothers O'Level results - my mother outright shunned that I'd not get anything close to his grades. I deserve it - it was rude of me to laugh without knowing how challenging these exams tend to be. And mind you, my ignorant self-thought anything less than A is disappointing. This is highly ironic given how most of high school, I struggled terribly when it came to grades. My grades were embarrassing. But a little fire ignited within me. That moment and so many moments before and since then - the realization that although I may not be enough, it simply doesn't hurt to try. And if it hurts, maybe the pain will be bearable. And if it's unbearable, that I hope in due time - I recover. Point being, I have struggled with confidence, self- esteem and all those struggles that just makes you be you.

So here's a me that's now on the horizon of being thwarted into real world - what does real world mean? Are you telling me the last 18 years of my life wasn't real? "Sheltered life" - oh that makes sense. Who knows? To each their own. What I eventually learned and accepted is that when you get to make decisions of your own and live with the consequences - that's when things start to make a bit of sense. Suddenly it's on you.

Fast forward and I am in this foreign land. It's beautiful, busy and extremely cold in due time. People that may remotely know you may ask "how are you?" - to which surprisingly the answer is to be kept as a simple - "fine, thank you. How are you?" and you can figure out what happens next. Hint - not much. So here's me - in this foreign land - someone who has struggled with English for most of his life - mostly because all the grammar classes went over my head and/ or I simply couldn't bother to understand the technicality of it all. Just the other day, a friend causally said out aloud - "this doesn't even sound like English" to something I wrote - to which so many memories came over me. He might have said it without knowing the history I have with this language. You know, as an immigrant - it's difficult to explain how hard it can be to embrace something that's not familiar as your mother tongue. It's just hard. It feels like you get stopped at expressing how you truly really feel. And with that struggle - you feel frustration. You feel like what you are saying is so very rusty and not you. And you give up. You give up explaining because it doesn't sound like what's in the heart. What's within. What instead comes out is something unfamiliar. Like not you. But still, very much you.

So now you have someone who struggles with self-esteem issues and inferiority complex with regards to the most commonly used language across the world - in a city so far away from home. Let's add a bit of spice to it and say that dealing with it meant over-consumption of food. Result - someone who feels like an outcast yet again. Not enough.

Eventually things turned around when I lost a lot of my weight - started to feel like maybe not all is lost, that there may be more. That it's worth the chase.

So when I was approached by this person - let's call him John, even though he is nothing like a John, to basically get a discussion of about 2 hours as to how he landed this great job - with the subtle hint that he wants me to eventually get it as well - life flashed before my eyes. Why me? Not enough. Not enough. Why me? And yet with that, came the subtle promise to myself that let's let the humble heart do what it wants to do. Let it beat. Let it flutter. Let it do what it wants to.

I did get the job. And since then I have grown with it. And so much has happened since then. Like how although I have considered the concept of not being enough, I have embraced the reality of treating people with the excitement and respect they deserve. You know a lot of people won't remember the finer details of the day to day life but when you make someone feel special - not because you have an ulterior motive - but because you genuinely appreciate you are the lucky one to be around their presence, all barriers of being an immigrant, being not enough, suffering self-esteem and so many other adversities - crashes and burns. Because what you are allowing is the reality that so many of us deny ourselves. That although we may not have a home, a lover, a proper education, a family, a stable job, a mended heart, a protected life and so much more - we do have ourselves and those around us. And when we choose to celebrate that - and let go of the things that push us against the wall and doesn't let us breathe - much can change for the better. And although it may not be for a prolong period - those fleeting moments of joy and unguarded joys of life deserve everything. Deserves every bit of our attention and love. It comes in full circle. Enough. Enough. So very enough.

Winter Travels 2016-17 - Banff, Calgary, Vancouver, New York & Boston

Part I

A gondola ride up the Banff Mountains

December 17, finished my work just in time to go the airport and start the trip. Few hours later, I was literally amid the mountains of Banff with the help and company of a good friend, Rhyan. Enjoyed my first hostel experience and met quite a lot of people - from Australia, New Zealand, San Francisco, Edmonton and more. Surely I want to head back to the Canadian Rockies when it is summer time but there's something inherently satisfying to be out in that much cold and see the mountains be as stubborn, harsh and beautiful as they can be. Had lunch, dinner and walked along the town on my own and felt at peace. Next thing I know, I am going back to the city - only to be shown downtown Calgary just 2 hours before the flight by Rhyan. Made it back to the airport, just in the nick of time. 

Part II

A view overlooking the city of Vancouver

Safely boarded the flight to Vancouver and saw some familiar and new faces. And it's my brother, Farah, Amna and Ashif that made this trip to Vancouver special. Didn't do a lot of tourist like activities I did last year, but instead I chose to let it be and take things as they come. That meant long walks with my brother and catching up about life with a person I so deeply respect and love. That meant getting a book from Farah and realize just how much she understands what you like - because haven't read a book quite like this - in a long while. It also meant watching Netflix with these same people and hate the fact that my winter jacket started to smell like curry.  

Part III

A walk over the Brooklyn Bridge 

Came to New York and stayed with my cousins this time around. And they treated me like I deserve the best. My peasant self-enjoyed every bit of it. Be it shopping for jackets and realizing there are so many styles for a vest like jacket or that I just about bought everything in Olive green. Or maybe it was the coffee we shared after a healthy breakfast that made it special. Or maybe everything in between. 

And my little escapades to the city led to experiencing a fine museum, Guggenheim, and discuss with my dad about the architect behind the building (Frank Lloyd Wright). The conversation showed - just how much Papa loves being an Architect. Catching up with some old friends like Ishmam, Salwa and Safwan meant catching up on the daily life we all live and also discuss deeper issues that surround us and our close ones. 

Walking over the Brooklyn Bridge during the first night was more than just a walk. Much of the past year and going forward was in my head. You think of things from perspective that may distraught what reality actually is. You start to think a little too much. Almost taints your perception. But then you get distracted and notice so many tourists – like yourself – are enjoying the view in front of them and behind them. You have Brooklyn in front of you. You have the spectacular Manhattan Skyline behind you. And you catch yourself thinking – how am I here? 

New York with its endless tourists is special - even the shaky subway rides. The yellow cabs, the multi-faceted crowds everywhere, the skyscrapers, the major landmarks, Halal guys and so much more. 

Part IV

Getting drenched in rain and wet snow - while in Boston

Boston was on my radar but when I exchanged few messages with Fahrina earlier in December, I knew I just had to make a visit. So basically printing off her step by step guide and an actual guide (though used Fahrina’s guide as bible), I set out to this city and went for it. Obviously didn't check weather and next thing I know, it's heavy rainfall, extreme winds and snow fall - I mean talk about all the spices for one disastrous weather night (did I mention that I was wearing sneakers?). But dried myself off and slept quietly in my Airbnb home, knowing that I am travelling all on my own and what's life without its mishap? Woke up next morning and it was all sunny, bright and once I walked out, almost no sign of what was the night before. Another reason, to just take things as they are and let yourself be surprised. A little trip to Harvard, a walk around Chinatown to grab lunch and a bit more exploring of downtown Boston later - boarded the bus back to New York. 

Part V

Home sweet home?

Excited to head home. It's always exciting to travel and let yourself be reminded much outside your own world. But you have to go back home, whatever, wherever home is. 

Special thank you to every one of you who along the way helped and made this trip worthwhile. It was supposed to be Bali but instead I immersed myself in the harsh winter - in 4 impeccable cities. And I wouldn’t change anything about it (well, I think I would check the weather ahead of time, just saying).

Why do you Travel?

Very recently, I decided to make a blog to document people’s perspective regarding Travelling. With so much going wrong around us, I personally came up with this to show that we can think beyond the negatives. To explore the world that in equal portions scare and amazes us. 

Here is a rundown from my friends. I want to thank every single individual that took the time to write me back. If you can take just 10-15 minutes to really read it all – I assure you – you feel a good feeling. And I believe, that alone is a big achievement. 

Without further ado, here are responses to the question, “Why do you travel?”

1. Alan Ly:

 I do it so that I can see another culture's traditions and the way they live life (i.e. how Europeans have siesta's, and we do not. A gentlemen explained to me that he lives to work, and I work to live...made me question my life decisions temporarily. He owned a gelato shop loll). Other reasons is to reach landmarks and do epic things like dive, or hike up mountains...do things other people don’t. The next piece is to try new food. Last is that I can get away do we I want and not have to give a FFFFF.

2. Shifei Li:

I do it to learn more about myself. Doing things myself & seeing others do things helps me figure out what I’m good at/enjoy doing and what I’m afraid of/faults. Also to meet others who may live different lives & see what they're doing with their time.

3. Shagufe Hossain:

Travelling is the quickest and most certain way to expand your consciousness. It helps you grow and become more of who you are. You absorb cities, cultures, and people and learn so much about the world and more importantly so much about yourself. You also end up giving away little pieces of yourself to the places you visit so you morph into this new being. You become more of who you are through travelling.

4. Nick Corradino:

I travel to escape from the daily stress and routine from everyday life. I travel to return my mind to a state of learning, curiosity, and reflection. I travel because life is too short, and I want to see as much of it as possible. I travel for the lessons, experiences, and stories that make life worthwhile.

5. Amanda Seminerio:

You are a combination of the places you’ve been, the people you’ve encountered, and things you’ve experienced. I think the only way you grow as a person is to understand that there is a world beyond your borders, where people are living a life different from your own, where there are different social norms, and different ways of thinking. I travel to explore – to try new cuisines, to meet new people from all walks of life, to maintain an open mind. I travel to be free – to take a break from the routine, to push my limits, and satisfy my curiosity. I travel to learn – about our history, other cultures, but most importantly about myself. You start to appreciate your own life, while at the same time discovering the aspects you want to change, because once you’ve come back you start to see the world a little bit different than you did before. And eventually everything that once seemed so foreign to you, is what becomes familiar. 

Travelling is all about the thrill you feel when the customs officer asks where you’re going and even though you’ve run through the conversation a million times in your head, you blank out. It’s about running between gates because you’re going to miss your flight. It’s about using translation apps to try and figure out what you just ordered at a local restaurant. It’s about following along the directions on your GPS to make sure your cab driver doesn’t get you lost. It’s about the friends you’ve made who will always have room for you to stay when you go to visit. It’s about returning home and starting to plan your next adventure.

There’s so much of the world to see, so why should you only explore one part of it?

6. Nabeela Haque:

This was my 4th trip to Europe and I had arrived in Barcelona the night before. That night, I had gone out for a nice meal in La Rambla- the Main Street in central BCN but this picture was taken on my full proper visit within the city. After a quick, very Barcelona like breakfast of coffee and croissant, I started exploring the city with a backpack that had a BCN imprint. Barcelona - it was everything I had imagined it to be and more. This photo was taken in the Gothic Quarters and I think it captured my spirit for traveling well. I was in awe of the high stone walls, the squares that opened up as you turned corners and people playing music and enjoying a cup of coffee. I was in awe of seeing things that are hundreds and hundreds of years old and still standing strong and wondered about how people in those days built such magnificent structures. I walked slowly and kept staring at everything around me. For me, traveling is about taking it all in, manmade or natural and this pictures shows off that very feeling.

7. Angelet Lim:

Asking people why they travel is similar to asking them why they read books. Each city has its own unique story. A good traveler will read each city to understand and get immersed in their story. Some travelers will like or dislike a city based on their comprehension and how the city made them feel. Similar to a book, it can be liked or disliked. The most memorable part of a book are the intense scenes that made me feel fully immersed in the story. The scene that spoke to me the most. For example, in Harry potter, it is when Dobby died in the book that really spoke to me the most (not the time Harry defeated Voldemort). This is comparable to cities. For example, in Paris, my most memorable experience is not the Eiffel tower or even the Mona Lisa. It is going to Montmartre, eating fish in the French sidewalk and watching the French celebrate the first day of summer in the streets. Some people will rob cities of what they have to offer by going "for the sake of going or saying they've been there". This to me is like reading a summary in Wikipedia so they can finish their book report. You just robbed yourself with the storyline and getting immersed in a different world.  In the end, I travel for those moments that made me feel full of life - those moments in which I just can't stop reading.

8. Irad Mustafa:

What initially started out as a means to get away from the concrete prison that is Dhaka turned into my own way of discovering who I am. With nothing but a backpack filled with essentials, you venture out into new places without access to the familiar facilities we might usually take for granted. Traveling pushes you into a flurry of situations outside your comfort zone like forcing you to meet new people with completely different lifestyles and cultures, hiking up a mountain, crossing a river during a storm or simply ordering a meal at a rural restaurant; these are experiences which let you discover what truly makes you tick. Encountering people from various cultures helps you see how people see the world differently and seeing these different perspectives also gives you a healthy reality check.  Choosing to buy experiences over tangible objects has transformed me in many ways for which I am truly grateful and has taught me how to live beyond the lines of our urban comforts.

________ 

I hope you have found this worthwhile, inspiring and just a warm feeling that we have much to explore, experience and do in life. You don’t necessarily have to travel to experience all these. The only thing you really need, in my opinion, is the honest approach to going for things you like. Just go for it. Let it unfold. 

What I Talk About When I Talk About Running by Haruki Murakami
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

A very simple memoir (kind of) in less than 200 pages - and already in my top 3 Murakami books I have read. If you like running, bicycling, swimming, writing, or in general in pursuit of goals and activities that make you who you are, this book is for you. The sheer humility and the deliberate approach to be honest to himself - first and foremost - is what really shapes this up to be one of utter best. The language throughout is simple yet effective. You really feel the pain and uncertainties that he feels in certain parts of the book. You feel like you are there with him while he is running his incredible 62 miles run he did - and how he survived it. Barely. The revelations that come about from this book really makes you almost have an exclusive view into his mind that has created the likes of The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, Kafka on the Shore, A Wild Sheep Chase and more. For an author that seems so reclusive - this book certainly is a win for fans (like myself) who wants to see why they are so devoted to whatever he writes. And for good reasons. Definitely recommended.

View all my reviews

How to Prepare for Recruiting Season?

So I wrote this blog about 3 years back. Thought it would be nice to share it again - still applies to a great extent.

Here's the original blog under the accounting association I was able to write this blog under:

http://yuapaa.blogspot.ca/2013/07/how-to-prepare-for-september.html

It is a nerve-wrecking time of the year but believe me that many like you are on the same boat. So first thing first, throw out all the preconceived notions, paranoia and fear that you may have and approach the recruitment season with confidence and the desire to do your absolute best in order to secure your dream job! Once you really believe that the comfort zone that you currently dwell in doesn’t really exist and that there is more to life, then things will really start to work to your favour.
So with that, here are the key aspects to focus over the next month:

1.    Brush up your Cover Letter: A cover letter is your one page mean to really tell the recruiters why you instead of the other applicants. This may be really daunting but start on it right away. Let your personality shine through your work, volunteer experience and more. Tell them how all of your experiences have given you the highly sought after softs skills such as leadership, communication, interpersonal, organizational, team-building skills and more. Make sure you follow the proper standard and salutation when putting it together along with correct date, address of the person you are writing to etc. Some may want you to direct the CL to a particular recruiter while others may require a generic approach. Make sure you do you research and know their respective requirements.

Also try to incorporate why you would be a great fit for the firm you are applying to. Do not choose the generic route but rather genuinely convey what you enjoyed about them and how you can further add value to their organization.

Finally after you have a draft, do plenty of proof-reading with friends, career centre or professionals you may know until you are confident with the CL. A simple spelling mistake or grammatical error can really sabotage your chances.

2.    Perfecting your Resume: Another key component for your fall application. Make sure to keep it to a page and a maximum of 2 pages. Go for the latter only if you have solid information that requires more than a page. As with cover letter, make sure it has no grammatical error or spelling mistake. Also do not just list your experience. Try to clearly but briefly explain how they are related to the job you are applying for. Make sure you clearly mention your GPA (even though a more extensive version would be present under your transcripts) and expected date of graduation should be clearly mentioned.

3.     Social Media presence: By now you should be a master when it comes to social media. However if you are not, here are a few tips to really improve your online presence:

• Facebook: Some of the things we share over here can easily cross into the territory of being, “too much.” It can be obscene, offensive, lack professional attitude….you get the gist. So brush up your Facebook by privatizing contents that can do more harm than good. Also keep away from complaining.
• Twitter: As much as many just love to hate this platform, one simply cannot underestimate its power. All of the Big 5 firms have majority of their recruiters now using twitter in the hopes to connect with students like you and also represent their firm. Do not take it personally if you do not get a follow back, what matter is that you get such an amazing platform to communicate and also show who you are. If you are the complaining type on social media then maybe twitter is not for you. Remember that social media is representing you to a much larger audience than you could imagine. Being a little careful would not harm anyone.
• LinkedIn: This is your professional networking site that you should really look after. Put up a professional picture, explain what you have done so far in your university life (Because anything before that may seem a bit outdated) and then go onto connect with professionals you have met during networking events.

4.    Reconnect: with Professionals that you have met in the past. Start with a simple email asking about their summer. This time of the year is less stressful, so ask them if they could possibly meet for a coffee. If they cannot find time, do understand that they have hectic schedule regardless of the time of the year. If they are able to meet then really do your research about the person, the firm they are working at and ask questions you do not have answers for.

5.    Final Preparation Tips: 

• Connect with friends who are also in Accounting. It’s always nice to go out to events together considering how you will have someone you know be present with you. However if I were you, I would rather go out to the events alone and make new friends. It will really help you to get out of your comfort zone.
• Dress/Suit Up like you are already a professional. Being well-put together will build your confidence and exude the same sentiment with your peer and professionals at the networking events.
• Make sure you are aware about all the necessary deadlines for fall applications for each of the Big 5 firms and other Chartered Accountancy Training Offices. You do not want to miss out on any of them.
• Create your own luck by doing the best you can. Do not leave out anything on chance. Especially if it is something you can directly control. I wish you all the very best and know that everything happens for a reason and a mere setback is not worth putting yourself down. It’s rather an opportunity to put up a fight and making yourself that much stronger!